House

[petty_dabbler]

John was in the ICU, looking through the glass doors at a woman laying there. She was intubated, slated for death, but she clung to life.

Because, John realized after watching for a while that she wasn't in a coma. She was paralyzed. To him it was as obvious as day, but he didn't know why. Just that 'back in the day' it would have been labeled as possession.

House walked up and John looked over at him.

"Figured her out yet?" he asked, thinking maybe House would have a missing piece.

Comments

[drfeelbad]

"Yeah," said House. "She's not gonna wake up because she's not asleep."

[petty_dabbler]

"You know why yet?" he asked, slipping a cinnamon toothpick in his mouth to chew on.

[drfeelbad]

"Lock-in syndrome," said House, looking down at the woman. "My theory is a snake bite. Waiting on tests. Not that the cause matters much at this point."

[petty_dabbler]

"You can't cure it, either. Poor fucker," John said, shaking his head. "I hope it is a snake bite. There's a new party drug going around. I'd hate for her to be the first of an overdose epidemic."

[drfeelbad]

"One hell of a consequence of an overdose," said House. "You in med school now?"

[petty_dabbler]

John snorted derisively.

"No," he scoffed. "I can just see the bigger picture. Tell me this. Where'd she get a snake with venom that could do this, now. What snake has time delay venom, because what snake in London, or anyplace close, could do this? So, yeah, I don't need a medical license to tell you. It's probably drugs. Try the Rusiians."

[drfeelbad]

"It's always the Russians," House said. "But you're not wrong. Just wishful thinking on my part, and it's not like we can fix her either way."

[petty_dabbler]

"Well, there's the brain wave monitor those guys came up with," John said, briefly explaining what he meant.

"But you'll never get approval for something so experimental," he shrugged. Then he sighed. "Shitty way to live. Shitty way to die."

[drfeelbad]

"That's not a cure," said House. "It's not even treatment. It's an accommodation. Not my division."

[petty_dabbler]

"What good is figuring it out if you can't fix it?" John asked. "Couldn't pay me enough to strip people of hope."

[drfeelbad]

"Fortunately we pay you to mop up the vomit," House said pleasantly.

[petty_dabbler]

"That's the least of what I get paid for," John scoffed. "You're a one trick pony in comparison."

He plucked out a cinnamon toothpick and began to suck the oil from it.

"Best advice I can ever give you? No matter where you go...never shit on the janitor, mate. Bad idea, every time."

He turned to go get his cart.

[drfeelbad]

House chuckled. "Hey I've got at least two tricks," he said.

[petty_dabbler]

"Hiding from the clinic isn't a trick, House," John replied.

[drfeelbad]

"Now you see me, now you don't," House said, and wiggled his fingers at him. "I can also pull a finger out of your ear."

[petty_dabbler]

John came closer and smirked, then reached out and plucked a coin from House's ear. He showed it, then made it disappear three more times before giving it to the doctor.

It was a token for a laundromat in one of the worst areas of the city.

"You wouldn't believe what I can pull out of your ass," he snickered.

[drfeelbad]

"You wouldn't believe the things I have pulled out of people's asses," said House. "I can show you the x-rays." He pocked the coin. "I'll cherish this."

[petty_dabbler]

John laughed warmly at that.

"People amaze me. Is there anything they won't put through the back door?"

[drfeelbad]

"If it fits..." House said with a snort. "And sometimes even when it doesn't quite."

[petty_dabbler]

"I'd believe that," he chuckled. Then he looked back at her, his mirth fading. "You don't care about fixing them?"

[drfeelbad]

"I'm a diagnostician," said House. "I diagnosed her."

[petty_dabbler]

"And that's enough to satisfy you? Just knowing what's wrong?" he asked. Because he could respect that. John, too, liked knowing everything he could. Especially about everyone in the hospital.