petty_dabbler

Alwyn parted his lips slightly, settling in nearer and holding on.

He wanted to apologize, to say he was sorry he was so unsure and awkward. Instead he just pawed lightly at the other man, wanting John to know he was wanted.

John kissed him, but broke away to lay kisses along his jaw and his throat.

"You always smell so good," he whispered, hands roaming Alwyn's shape.

"I do?" Alwyn asked, realizing he'd never thought much about his own smell, beyond being aware of controlling odor with soap and deodorant.

"...What do I smell like?"

"Clean. Fresh. And you smell like...you. I don't know. It's a good smell. I like when you leave in the morning and I can roll over and lay on your pillow and think about you," he said softly. "It's a good smell."

"You do that?" Alwyn asked quietly, wondering why he never thought to do things like that. Why he couldn't be more romantic, like John.

"Sometimes," he nodded. "I know it's a bit weird, but sometimes I like to lay here and think about you before I begin my day."

He kissed him softly again.

"It's better like this. With you here..."

"I wish I was romantic like you. ...you deserve romance," Alwyn said, looking just a little distraught by the idea that he couldn't give John something he knew the man ought to have.

"Wait...you think you're not romantic?" John asked, moving back a little to look at him. "Your romance is quiet, love. But it's there. You're romantic all the time. When you touch my hand when we walk. The way you say I love you and my heart might burst just hearing it. You let me take food first. Maybe it's not flowers and dancing in the rain, but that doesn't mean it's not there. Hmm?"

"It feels like not enough," Alwyn said. "That's all. ...I'm glad you don't think so though."

"It's enough, love," he assured him. "It's enough."

John rolled toward him, pushing Alwyn onto his back so John could kiss him properly. He held his face for a moment and was smiling when the kiss broke.

"More than enough."

Reaching out, Alwyn touched his cheek, stroking it lightly.

"You're so kind to me," he said softly. "Thank you for that."

"I could say the same," he smiled softly.

Affection warmed his gaze.

"You're kinder to me than anyone has ever been. My whole life. My whole life I wished for someone who loved me. As I am. Rough. Imperfect. Thank you for that."

"I think you're lovely," he said softly. "I adore you."

"That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard," he said, leaning in to kiss him again. He squirmed as close as he could get, his cock growing hot and heavy trapped against Alwy's hip.

Alwyn let out a little gasp, stomach fluttering the way it always did when they were intimate.

John shifted so he could kiss Alwyn's neck and breathe him in.

"My God, I want you," he murmured.

"Want you too," Alwyn said softly. "I want... To be as close as we can be."

John moved so he could look at him, just to see if he was sure.

"Yeah...we'll go slow, alright?" he said softly.

Alwyn nodded slightly, trusting John to take care. He always did after all.

When he said slow, he meant it. He understood how quickly Alwyn could get overwhelmed.

"I'm going down on you," he warned softly. John shifted so he could kiss his way down Alwyn's torso, giving him plenty of time to ready himself.

Alwyn tensed, then nervously blurted out, I don't like it. I don't.. I don't like your mouth or my mouth... I tried, but... Fuck, I'm sorry. I'm sorry..."

John stopped and lifted his head to look at him.

"Shh, it's alright," he said. "Don't be sorry for what you don't like. Is there something you'd rather?"

"I don't know," Alwyn said, guilt hitting him hard again.

Why couldn't he just be normal?

John kissed him over his heart, then pushed himself up to eye level.

"It's alright, love. It's not a quiz. All I want is to make you feel good."

"Sometimes I don't even know if I like sex," Alwyn admitted. "But I want to be near you. To touch you... To be touched."

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